Well time for quick post here before bed time.

I got the coolest thing today - it's called the Roomba and it's SICK. It cleans your entire room for you without having to shift a single butt cheek. God Bless America and God Bless the Roomba.

I sort of made up with Giggles. I was thinking about what he said, and after reviewing my last post realized how mean it really was. I think what's so good about keeping a blog/journal is that I can read about events that I wouldn't ordinarily remember otherwise - at least the specifics. Truth is - he should've apologized first. He acted like an asshole. But whatever. Life is too short I suppose to focus on the negative aspects but regardless - it was lame.

I'm wondering what it is that would make me truly happy in life. More friends. A boyfriend. Less stress at work? I got a dog - now I have more stress. I was thinking of getting a boyfriend just so he can take care of the dog. And this is with me paying $2k a month in dogwalker fees (I make a decent living, so no complaints). He urinated on my blanket the other day though, which drove me apeshit. However, I suppose it worked out for the best. I got Roomba after all.

Alright - I seem to be going off-topic here. So happiness...

1) Friends. Eh. Most people are annoying. It's like a full-time job just weeding out most of these dillweeds. Negative approach? Probably, but have you spoken to most people? Good lord people have issues. It's depression this, social anxiety that, overly self-important this, neurotic asshole that. Is there a reason why people can't just chill, stop taking themselves so seriously and try to enjoy themselves?
2) Boyfriend. Eh. I suppose I could use more sex. Alright - I KNOW I could use more sex. But at the same time I'm always such a nervous wreck with meeting new guys. Why? Hmm - good question. Could be neurosis about them seeing me naked and thinking "Good lord- why is there a curve there and a gap there?" Could be the fact that I am generally quite concerned with farting during sex. And if I don't fart - there's always a smell there because I'm holding it in. I'm not sure if it's like this with all gay guys, but the truth is I have to be a top because I'm not farting on a guy's dick while he's doing his thing. Sorry for the graphic discussion there.

Thinking about it - christ I've had some fucked up situations. Pathetic situations. That's how I would describe my sex/romantic life to date. PATHETIC. Let me go through the list of guys I've dated/slept with (it's short):
1) Online weirdo. Never did much except kiss. He ate like a burrito before the kiss so it was completely nauseating. Actually wasn't a burrito. It was a cha-something. The doughy, nasty crapt they sell on the street. Ugh - nasty. That was a freaky ass situation around. Sigh.
1) I went back and edited this after the fact and didn't feel like renumbering. So we're back to one. Fuck you if you don't like it. First sex ever. Hooked up in a threesome with 2 other guys on Long Island. Best head I ever had. Got depressed after and skipped sex for pretty much 2 years after that.
2) Second time. Felt like rape. Got depressed again.
3) Third time. I was dating an alcoholic idiot. He sang who let the dogs out. I said I will if you don't stop calling me.
4) OMG - totally forgot about this guy. A flight attendant who I loved and still do to this day. He didn't want a relationship and we barely got anywhere. That was that. Very fucked up after him.
5) Then dated a great guy from Brooklyn. Sweet, and HOT. I consider him my first "real" relationship. Pathetic enough, it only took 25 years to get there. Not horrible I suppose. I'm an immature mess. What do you expect from me? It didn't work out there. I thought I wanted a more intellectual basis for our conversations. He just wanted to call stuff stupid. Oh well.
6) I got a blowjob in Fire Island. That was cool. Just threw that in there to make me sound cooler.

I missed a couple guys that were random hook-ups. And by random hook-ups - I mean barely doing anything with them. I'm a prude and a dork, remember? G-D (fuck that)...GOD! Yes I wrote your name! Fuck yeah! (I can't write Fuck you because I'll get struck down and draw a correlation between my cursing of G0d and that). I was told in Hebrew school you can't say Fuck God. Fuck that. Fuck you God. Get me laid more you psychotic, maniacal prick.

Truth is that if God was a human being, he would be on trial for War Crimes. Crimes against Humanity. This man (and it would be a man because how many women throughout history have done what these cocksucking, dickless men have done) has allowed millions- probably billions to die unjust, murderous, miserable deaths. You say he's there and he can't control what men do to each other? Then what fucken good is it to have "The God" in the first place? That's the dumbest motherfucken argument I have ever heard in my life. Anyone who believes in God - good lord you're a fucken idiot. Look around. What has God done? Nothing. Your parents fucked and you were born. You got laid a couple times, worked your ass off so your bratty annoying kid could get an iPod and picked up shit that your stupid mutt left all over your bed. Thank God? Fuck that. And fuck you God.

Where was I? Oh. And I'm not going to work less. I love my job. That's the one thing in my life that's perfect besides my family (though they are neurotic Jews). I guess I just need a boyfriend/husband someday, a family of my own and Bush out of office. Because like God, Bush is a giant, motherfucken asshole.

And that's all I have to say. I'm starting to like blogging.

FYI - went to the gym again today. Watch out David Barton.